Feeling Bad Wasting Time on My Phone
Dr. Dan, when I have free time, I waste so much of it just watching pointless videos on my phone. I’m exhausted and stressed, so I feel like I need the break, but I do it for hours and still don’t feel better. What’s wrong?
– Suman B. (Austin, U.S.A.)
TL;DR
Freetime spent staring at a screen is usually a form of unhealthy “Vegging,” which is not helpful for rest and rejuvenation in your brain. There are endless ways for you to meaningfully “Recharge” instead.
Action Potentials:
On your next break or holiday, do an experiment: don’t touch or watch any screen. Instead, see how it feels to fill that time with one of the Recharge ideas below.
The Problem is that What You Call a “Break” is Actually a Stressor
Suman, your problem is one that almost everyone has experienced many times over, myself included.
The problem is that you are not taking Recharging breaks – you are merely “Vegging”. Vegging as in vegetating, like a vegetable. Like someone who is in a deep coma and doesn’t do anything other than simply exist.
For most people, it happens every single day. But it becomes most noticeable on holidays, when we’re mostly free from stress and exhaustion – we have all the time and energy in the world, and yet we still just slouch there, staring at a screen.
Here in the USA, it’s the week we celebrate Independence Day, the 4th of July. So before the holiday is the perfect time to learn about the neuroscience of destructive vegging and how it’s different from healthy, helpful breaks.
If you want your breaks, evenings, get-togethers, and holidays to leave you feeling energized and fulfilled rather than exhausted and depressed, read on!
The Great Lie
We are all human. We all need breaks and rest. You are exhausted and stressed and genuinely need a break.
Your brain likes to find the easiest way to rest. It’s incredibly easy to automatically…
- grab your phone and start checking notifications
- scroll endlessly through social media
- binge-watch shows or movies
- play video games or phone games for hours on end
- find yourself going down rabbit-holes of information online
- do pretty much any activity that involves staring at a screen
If you’re like most people, these mindless habits happen a lot. Because you’re human. And because our society teaches us that mindless = restful. Many tech companies want us to believe that those types of breaks are restful, recharging, and joyful, so that we’ll reach for their products to soothe ourselves when we’re tired or upset.
But it is not true.
In fact, the research consistently shows that screen activities actually stimulate your brain and body rather than resting them. Sure, it might be more relaxing than work, but your brain is still far from relaxed. Neuroscientifically, when you do recreation that involves staring at a screen…
– the light stimulates your eyes and tells your brain to wake up, especially when it involves a lot of flashy movement or sounds.
– the interpersonal aspects stimulate your emotional systems, often making you feel triggered, sad, angry, jealous, anxious, or upset.
– multitasking and distractions prevent your brain from entering or staying in slower, more relaxed brain wave patterns.
– endless information and/or decision-making adds to your cognitive load.
– entertaining elements artificially stimulate your reward pathways, causing you to feel wired and engaged.
– and often, we really should just go to sleep, but we keep staring at screens with tired dead eyes, instead.
If screen breaks were positive and restful, then doing them so much would have reduced anxiety, depression, ADHD, and insomnia in yourself and around the world. Instead, those problems grow ever worse.
Most importantly, when you think about it, do screen activities actually make you happy?
Do you look forward to them? Do you mindfully enjoy them? After the fact, are you glad you did them and look forward to doing them again? Would you miss them if you never got the chance to do them again?
If you’re like me, the answer is almost always “No!”
So how can screens possibly be good for relaxation when they stimulate your brain and make you unhappy? They can’t.
Say “No” to Vegetables!
When you consider how screen use really feels, and all the scientifically proven ways that it hurts and stimulates our brains rather than rests them, it’s clear that staring at a screen for entertainment is usually a form of “Vegging,” rather than Recharging.
What do those words really mean?
Like a vegetable, Vegging is mindless. It’s unfeeling. It’s generally passive. It’s escapism and avoidance. And at its most extreme, it’s a “freeze” state – a common stress and trauma response.
Certainly, Vegging isn’t always harmful. Sometimes, we really do just need to escape, and choosing to Veg can be ok if it’s done only on occasion and as a deliberate choice.
But for better brain health and happiness, our goal should be to Recharge (aka, healthy self-care). Recharge is mindful. It’s feeling, and feeling good. It involves more active participation. It’s done to feel good, not to escape and avoid feeling bad. And it’s done in a regulated state rather than as part of a stress or trauma response.
So how can you tell if you’re Recharging or Vegging? Let’s do a full side-by-side comparison:
*A stress response similar to “fight or flight”, but instead of hyper-activating the nervous system, it involves a shutdown of the system to attempt to appear dead and numb pain. In the future, I’ll share more about the freeze response, how to avoid it, and how to get out of it when it does happen, but for now, you can learn more here and here.
Now ask yourself:
When I take breaks from work, am I usually Vegging or Recharging?
When I relax in the evenings, am I usually Vegging or Recharging?
When I relax on the weekends, am I usually Vegging or Recharging?
When I relax for days on holiday, am I usually Vegging or Recharging?
Most of us would answer mostly “Vegging,” and for some of us, it’s Vegging 100%!
If you’re not happy with your answers, it’s time to make a change for the better.
How? Notice when you Veg and choose to replace your Vegging habits with activities that will actually Recharge you.
To make this easy for you, I’ve compiled a list:
If you’re not convinced that replacing screen time with other activities will make a big difference in your life, I challenge you to do an experiment: on your next break or holiday, don’t touch or watch any screen. Instead, see how it feels to fill that time with one of the Recharge ideas above.
I did this myself for a week. And what happened is that immediately, on the very first day, I felt more present, focused, and carefree than I had in years! And I had the most productive day I’d had in months. And because it felt so good, I deleted apps, closed out social media accounts, and set screen limits that still positively affect me to this day.
I challenge you to see how it will change your life.
Whether it’s this week for the 4th of July or any other day, set an intention and make a specific plan to stop Vegging and start Recharging!
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