5 Simple Memory Strategies to Never Forget a Name Again
“I’m so terrible with names, I don’t even try anymore. But it feels so awkward not knowing people’s names I’ve met several times. How can I better remember names?”
– Jack C.
Do you ever feel embarrassed or uncomfortable because you forgot a name?
Would you prefer to confidently remember names, so you can be more likable, help people feel cared about and included, and foster valuable connections?
Let me tell you a story. It’s five years ago. I’m walking out of my apartment and pass a man I’ve never seen before, so I ask if he just moved in, and he says yes. I introduce myself and ask his name, and he says “Kenechi.” If you have no idea how to pronounce that, then you can empathize with the fact that to me, it’s a totally foreign name that I’ve never heard before.
Yet, I notice it sounds like the Japanese greeting “konnichiwa,” just without the “-wa.” So in my head, I picture this man bowing to me in the traditional Japanese way, even though that would be totally ridiculous for him, a Nigerian, to do in Utah, USA.
Fast forward one week later. I pass him again, which is only the second time I’ve seen him. And I say “Hi Kenechi!” And I still remember his face – he freezes in absolute shock and says “You remember my name?! How?!” Apparently, almost no one pronounces his name correctly, let alone remembers it, let alone a week after hearing it once! So I explain how I’m a cognitive performance coach, and that starts up a whole conversation.
One thing led to another, and I’m still good friends with him and his family over five years later. We spent an enjoyable evening together just last week, talking and supporting each other and laughing as he beat me in ping-pong.
So how did I do it? Remembering names isn’t complicated. You just need to be B.R.A.V.E.
Believe
Repeat
Ask
Visualize
End with their name
Believe
“Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” – Henry Ford
- Stop saying “I’m bad with names”. No. There’s no such thing as a “good” or “bad” memory for names. There’s only a good or bad memory strategy.
- Start telling yourself that you’re good at remembering names. Or at least not good “yet.”
- Belief → effort → mentally engaged → solid long-term memory.
Repeat
Say the name a few times out loud to make sure you heard it right and to lock it into your memory [1].
- Pay attention, listen 100%.
- Repeat it back to them and ask them to repeat it as many times as needed to make sure you get it right up front, so you don’t learn it wrong. Show that you care enough to make an effort and get it right, which most people…don’t.
- Don’t give up or accept mispronouncing it
- Use the name several times in your first conversation. But keep it natural – don’t force it.
Ask
Cement new names and help others feel special by discussing the name itself.
- Ask questions like:
– What does it mean?
– How do you spell it?
– Why were you named that?
- This extra focus and information helps you make connections and remember [2]. I learned a coworker’s name means “light” in Hindi (which none of his long-time friends knew!), so if I ever need to remind myself of the name or its pronunciation, I just Google “light in Hindi.”
- Curiosity helps them feel how much you care.
Visualize
Use mental imagery to link their name to their appearance.
Our brains are wired to powerfully remember visual information, including faces and imaginary images [3]. So use their appearance to cue your memory of their name:
1. Make an image related to the name.
Ex: What images does the name Ronald make you think of? I think of Ronald McDonald, the McDonald’s clown mascot. See him in detail, then add sounds (clown laughter), smells (french fries), emotions (creeped out), etc.
2. Find a physical feature that stands out to you.
Ideally, it’s on their face, since our brains are excellent at recognizing faces, but elsewhere can work. Ideally, it’s unique, but any noticeable feature can work. Let’s pretend the real Ronald is bald.
3. Creatively combine the image and physical feature into a unique, dramatic, scene that you graphically experience in your mind.
Imagine Ronald the Clown’s red hair falls out, leaving only bald skin. See his dismay. Hear him screaming. Imagine your shock and disgust as the red hair falls into the Big Mac you’re eating!
Imagine that hair falling out into your burger…I’m NOT lovin’ it!
The next time you see the person, notice distinct parts of their appearance again so that the physical feature (baldness) can cue your memory of the ridiculous image (clown’s hair falling out into your Big Mac), which will remind you of the name (Ronald).
If you can’t identify any distinct physical features, link their name to something else about them, such as:
– the location you met them
– the company they work for
– their personality
End With Their Name
Use their name when you say goodbye.
- This gives you one more spaced-out review of their name.
- It leaves them feeling good, impressed, and likely to remember you, especially if you nail the names of a whole roomful of people!
Next time you meet anyone new, remember to be B.R.A.V.E.
ACTION POTENTIALS:
💡 Use these techniques to remember the name of a new person, or even the names of a whole roomful of people!
With these 5 simple techniques, you’ll be amazed how much more easily you remember their name, whether it be 5 minutes later or 5 months.
Even if you don’t use the skills perfectly, you’ll still help others feel special, become more charismatic, enjoy more successful relationships, and feel more confident.
~Dan
Dr. Dan Lathen
Founder – Cortex Evolution
Doctorate in Neuroscience
Cognitive Performance Specialist & Brain Coach
If you have questions or you’re struggling to apply these techniques to your specific situation, I’m happy to help. Just shoot me a message or get 1-on-1 guidance with a free brain coaching session.
Sources:
1. Smolen, P., Zhang, Y., & Byrne, J. H. (2016). The right time to learn: mechanisms and optimization of spaced learning. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 17(2), 77–88. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn.2015.18
2. Gruber, M. J., Valji, A., & Ranganath, C. (2019). How curiosity enhances hippocampus-dependent memory: The prediction, appraisal, curiosity, and exploration (PACE) framework. Neuron, 103(3), 484–495. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2019.05.026
3. Murray, C. A., Rissman, J., & Paller, K. A. (2022). Multisensory encoding via name tags facilitates face–name memory. Applied Cognitive Psychology, 36(6), 1480–1493. https://doi.org/10.1002/acp.3989
Title image by Drazen Zigic on Freepik
